Today is the day…

I didn’t need to rip the page off of my calendar to realize what today was. I knew the second I woke up. I hadn’t even opened my eyes yet and I was already reciting my answer to how do you defend/protect yourself. The words rolled over and over again in my mind. “You recognize the situation. You evaluate what is going on, checking your distance and looking for escape routes. Then you react by increasing your distance and using your voice. After that you defend yourself by making a preemptive strike or a defense strike.” Those words have been repeated in my mind so often, I hope that they roll off my tongue easily tonight.

I’m doing kata in my mind, repeating moves, developing strategies about sparring. My brain is in karate overload. I just can’t believe that the day I’ve dreamed about, fantasized about has finally arrived. Its surreal. I’m strangely calm on the inside as I run through everything over and over again. I think part of it might be years and years of training, knowing that some of this will just be second nature and come to me. Not over thinking it, perhaps some of it not thinking much at all, just letting the muscle memory take over and letting my body do what it knows to do. The other reason I think I’m calm is that I still don’t truly believe that its real. It can’t be. I have so much more to learn.

When I have my hand on that belt tonight, tears streaming down my face I think I’ll be looking ahead to my next training session, to improve on what I did tonight and to reach a new rung on the ladder. There might be a new black belt standing in our dojo tonight but she is definitely going to feel like a novice student, eager to crack open the books and learn all that there is to learn. Tonight I plan to take my first real step along the shodan path.

Advertisements