Get a Partner

As a karate instructor, I’ve uttered the phrase, “Get a partner” more times than I can count. I watch the kids that grab a partner quickly and I pay attention to those who wander around like a lost lamb. Frequently, they’re the ones not interacting with others in the class and are quiet when I want them to be loud. It’s something I’ve thought about and wondered how to fix.

Then the light bulb went off yesterday when I was reading an article about a teacher and the way she finds out how the kids are doing in her class – social adjustments, peer to peer. It was pretty simple, involving a survey every Friday about who should be awarded the student of the week and who they’d like to sit next to in the following week. Simple enough. But the information it gave spoke volumes to her, especially as weeks unfolded into months.

Moving forward, I’m going to handle the “Get a partner” situation a little bit differently, I think. Theres’ a couple of students I have in mind that will benefit from my new approach. Nope, I’m not going to single them out and embarrass them. Instead, I’m going to make them the shining examples and help to set them on a path to success. That’s what martial arts is supposed to do. It’s not just about self defense.

There’s a whole mindset. Focus. Being good and kind. Having a strong character. Being respectful. Not being a bully. And helping those in need.

This new approach has me so excited. I can hardly wait for class tonight so that I can start making a difference.

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Test Day

The last Friday of the month is always test day at the dojo. Gosh, I remember how nervous I was as I was progressing through the belts, knowing I had to demonstrate my skills. Like every other student I didn’t want to make a single mistake.

But life isn’t like that, and neither is the kyu exam. Mistakes are things we learn. Sometimes as nerves overtake our abilities we do something silly like put the wrong leg in front or do the incorrect combination. It happens. Being able to move on and not show any type of distress during the testing session is of the utmost importance. Students who do that are demonstrating to their instructors that nothing is going to stop them if they have to defend themselves. Perhaps they meant to throw a huge left punch into the face and smacked their attacker squarely in the throat. They won’t flinch, they’ll just keep going. Or they miss a block. They won’t show they’re hurt.

Tests – when mistakes happen – can sometimes be the very best window into what a student will do in real life. Mistakes happen. Don’t let them derail you. Keep moving and have a strong attitude while doing your best. That’s all you can ever do, anyway. Your best.

The Sum Total

One of the things I regularly teach in my classes has to do with attitude. What you practice in the dojo is what you’ll do when it comes time to defend yourself. Sure, adrenaline will give you an added boost but it could also cloud your mind as you stumble trying to figure out what to do. Muscle memory – that’s the key to being able to really defend yourself. Oh sure, using your hips, as I’ve mentioned before, big punches, all of those are important as well, but in the end it boils down to good old fashioned muscle memory.

What your body does in a time of crisis is what it has learned to do. What have you taught it? Instinctively, you will mirror your dojo training if you’re assaulted. What you teach it is important. As an instructor, I can coach you along, demanding you push yourself to do your best, striving to attain new limits but in the end its up to the student to dig deep, providing that added something to their training.

What are you going to bring to the situation? Most students, when they come into class, don’t think about being attacked. They think more about doing their kata, or their basics to get ready for an exam. I know that. I also know, the reality of being attacked is out there for all of us. No, I’m not paranoid, I’m just realistic. I wish the world was made up of completely nice people but that isn’t the case. I’m reading more and more news articles about young girls – very young girls – and boys being attacked. Pedophiles are an unfortunate reality, the same with rapists. These situations are the real test.

Remember, you are the sum total of your training. What will you do next time you train? I’d suggest you look in the mirror – see an attacker then handle him the best way you can. Through repetitions you’ll be ready and the best martial artist you can be.

What you practice

I can teach a student to kick and punch, to knee someone and do awesome hammer fists, giving them the tools they need to defend themselves. But I cannot give them them spirit. That comes from within and is the key component to successful self defense. That spark that resides in them, that fuels their passion and is aided by adrenaline coursing through their bodies – I cannot give them that. Each of us must dig deep and discover our own spirit, incorporating it into their daily attitude.

Unfortunately, as I’ve explained to students, what you do in class is all you have when it comes to defending yourself. If you fling your arms out, without using your body effectively – hip action, body rotation, etc. – then all you’ll have are arms and legs flailing about. They won’t land on their target with sufficient force to deflect an attack. Bringing spirit to class is the difference between a student who labors through every single belt and one who appears to breeze through the classes. Sure, other factors come into play, such as coordination and general athleticism but spirit can help every student rise above those things.

What you practice is what you become. Muscle memory takes over in a time of crisis and need. What will you bring to the fight? Don’t wait until you need it, start honing and using your spirit now. Remember. Spirit first. Everything else will follow.

A Day of Rest

Yesterday was a day of rest – a much needed day off from work. The dojo was closed offering an opportunity to have a nice quiet dinner with the family. That doesn’t seem to happen often enough with our hectic schedules.

Martial arts isn’t an occasional thing. Not if you want to get good. It demands persistence. It means putting on the gi and training regularly. The sense of commitment and fulfillment is huge, but I’m not going to lie – it’s a lot of hard work. I certainly understand when I hear that some of our younger students suffer from not wanting to put their uniforms on. Hey, we all think that once in a while, however, it comes back to attitude. If you want to be a black belt, train like a black belt. Don’t wait until you’re there.

And let’s face it – martial arts knows no season. It requires you keep it up even after summer changes to fall and through winter and on to spring until you meet up with summer again. A day of rest is a good thing. It brings me back to the dojo brimming over with determination and excitement.

Let those things fuel you today as well. Strive to be a little better than you were yesterday. Punch harder. Have better focus. Remember, doing karate isn’t about being the best  – it’s about doing your personal best and growing a little each day.

What’s Your Attitude?

Yesterday I had conversations with two different children about the same thing. Attitude. Not that they were surly or difficult, because they weren’t. They just didn’t have the ‘no one is going to touch me’ kind of attitude. Both are really sweet kids and with great dispositions. Turning on the light switch for them – changing that attitude – is harder.

I’d like to think I’m the same way, but for me it’s second nature. I’m all fun and happiness until you want to hurt me and mine. Guys are like that, women not as often unless you mess with their children. Perhaps I find it easier to tap into the mama bear mindset than most. Going from zero to sixty takes practice and persistence, which is what I explained to the kids.

They seemed to understand but it will take continual focus – just like anything else you want to learn – before they get it. So, ask yourself, what’s your attitude? Could you defend yourself if you had to? If not, call a local martial arts school and have a chat with them. Find out what programs they offer and pick the one that’s the right fit for you. Make sure their attitude is about safety and not fees.

I want everyone to be safe. Make that call today.

 

Why Train?

We all come to karate from different places. Some as children because their parents understand it helps with focus and respect. Others want to try a new sport and some of us wander into it as adults. That’s how I ended up on the training mat. If I hadn’t finally relented and quit saying, “Karate’s not for girls,” I probably wouldn’t be writing this today. In hindsight, it was one of the best decisions I ever made.

Karate gave my little family something we never expected. When our world changed, the dojo became our extended family. We fostered friendships 24 years ago that we still have. We shared the training, the ups and downs and wonderful successes along the way. For us, it was about more than the focus and the dedication. It truly was a family affair. Part of that was wrapped in competitions. Yeah, I travelled across the country so my four kids could compete. I was that parent. And I’m proud to brag any time you want to listen about their multiple national championships. They earned them through hard work, sweat, sore muscles and dedicated focus.

It was the massive array of trophies and ‘war stories’ that led Christopher to want to train. There’s no doubt about that. Kid number five wasn’t around during the traveling competition years and he yearned for a piece of that history to call his own. I’m not going to lie, at first I tried to dissuade him. Coming to karate just for the trophies and the glory was the wrong reason. I knew all too well about the hard work, and hours upon hours of training necessary. Competitions needed to be secondary. The training itself, for defense and the pure love of karate needed to be first. How could I explain that to a four-year-old? A quick trip into the dojo to let him watch proved he wasn’t ready. It took three years before we, as parents, were sure that he was ready.

I’m glad we waited. A miraculous thing happened. He no longer talked about the trophies, instead immersing himself into the training. He proved himself and worked as hard as a seven-year-old can. That means he had his good days and his bad days. But when the good outnumbered the bad, I knew he was ready to reach for a dream. And he started competing. And winning. I’m proud of my State Champion. He earned the trophies but more importantly he kept focused on the true reason to train. He’s no longer that little orange belt with a trophy almost as big as him. He’s a black belt and a karate instructor. It’s about being strong, being focused and taking care of himself. Training for all the right reasons. More

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