Karate Guys Don’t Cry

Yeah, you read that right. Karate guys don’t cry. They don’t let their emotions show. Restraint. That’s the word that I think most people think of when they consider what being a martial artist is about. Okay, maybe not restraint. They probably think of punching and kicking. Yelling and screaming.

So, I might as well make a confession. This karate ‘guy’ (yes, I use that term interchangeably) has cried more than they’d like to admit. And in the dojo even. Of course, in my defense, while the big fat tears were plopping on the mat I was handing my youngest child his Shodan Ho belt. They were tears of joy, with no way to stop them.

Since I’m making confessions I’ll share this as well. This karate girl even occasionally gives out hugs in the dojo. Last night one of my students was so overwhelmed she gave me several. I felt special. I knew that she cared about me and she also knew I cared for her. All the hours being bossy and yelling in class were absorbed with love. Making her a strong young lady has been my only goal for her. And its working.

Heck, since I’m in free confession mode here I might as well spill the rest of the beans. I even hold kiddos hands and help to coax my students through moments when they feel insecure. It happens more than you’d think. Last night a younger student was afraid to try a drill. She hung back, shaking her head, fear dominating her. Until I held her hand and said, “Let’s do it together.” What happened next warmed my heart. She did the drill and went on to have a blast in the class. We’d wrapped lessons in fun and she beamed the whole time.

Being a martial artist is so much more than changing students. Its about caring. Yes, this sensei does cry and hold hands. I’ve done it before and I’ll do it again. Whatever it takes to make my students believe in themselves – I’m there.

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Stress Relief

Yay, the holidays are upon us! They bring with them a special kind of stress. We scurry about trying to do everything for everybody filling ourselves up with less cheer and a lot more stress. I was thinking about that this morning as my own personal stress level climbed up a notch or two. For a split second I wondered what I could do to decompress and eliminate the tension expanding through my body.

Then it hit me. Or rather, I thought about hitting. Honestly, I have the best job in the world. Being a karate instructor comes with a couple of perks. I get to yell. I get to kick. I get to punch. Every single solitary day, I get to vent any frustrations building up inside. Today will be no different. Which of course got me to thinking about how sorry I am for all of the people who don’t do martial arts. They carry the burden of stress with them on a regular basis with little relief.

Instead of making a resolution in the new year to get in shape, make a promise to yourself that you’ll eliminate stress. Sign up for a karate class. It’ll be the nicest thing you do for yourself. Trust me. I know. And if you’re in the Inland Empire – let me know. I’ll give you a free lesson, my holiday gift to you.

Finding a Way

Not everyone who comes to the dojo is excited to begin training. As an instructor I know a number of the students we see  are there because their family wants them to get one or more of the benefits karate brings. Discipline. Self control. Learning how to deal with bullies. Self confidence. The list goes on and on.

The kids who are reluctant to train aren’t hard to spot in class. As an instructor I can spot them almost instantly. Its in their body language and their disposition. But that doesn’t matter. My job is to reach them, instilling what they need. All in an hour or two a week. There are times it seems impossible, when only a magic bottle of pixie dust could possibly help me overcome the obstacles.

And then I listen. Almost always if I talk to the child and listen to what they say I can find a way to crack through their outer shell and teach them the way they need to be taught. In the silence an answer wiggles its way to the surface, letting me glean a nugget of an idea – a new way of teaching. I had one of those moments yesterday. It was spectacular. Even better, my solution when shared with the parent triggered an outpouring of even more information about this student at home and school. Boom! My idea was totally in line with what that martial artist needed.

Not all karate teaching happens with instructions yelled, words reverberating around the room. Sometimes the best moments occur when you converse with the student, learn more about their interests and ‘what makes them tick’. Finding a way to make a difference…that’s why I teach.

What to Teach?

Today rolls into another teaching day. Love these days. Sometimes figuring out what to teach is difficult and other days, the perfect plan plops right into your brain. Today is one of those days.

Taking a minute to think about which students will be in today and coupling that with their strengths and weaknesses I think I’ve come up with a lesson that will help them move forward in their training. Part of that was triggered by a student yesterday. This young person is the type that challenges an instructor, making them dive deep into their tool bag to find the right way to reach them.

Oddly, it was a simple list. Hey, I’m a list girl – its what keeps me on track. The list I scratched out yesterday were things I noticed about the student in the first five minutes of class. Five minutes yielded a rather long list. And this student isn’t unique. There are plenty of others just like them.

So, that list has morphed and transitioned into a training lesson. I love being able to gear my lessons to my students needs. Each one is unique and brings a different personality. Today’s lesson plan bears that in mind. I think they’re going to love it. I know they need it. Today I’m building character and better human beings. One punch at a time. One kick at a time.

A College Speech Class

Now what in the world could a college speech class and karate have in common? Hmmmm…..makes you wonder, doesn’t it? Yesterday my son – my high school aged son – delivered a speech in his communications class. When he was done his teacher told him how impressed she was with his composure and delivery. It was such a good speech that she wanted to have a copy of it to share with students in the years to come.

Still no idea how this relates to karate? Starting to wonder if this is just an excuse for a mom to brag about her fabulous kid? Well don’t. I’ll explain it.

Its like this. My son has trained in karate for almost ten straight years. He’s developed a confidence in himself and the ability to think quickly. He didn’t read the speech exactly as he’d written it. He ad libbed a line here and there. He could think on his feet and react to changes as necessary. His confidence drove him forward.

Plus, he spent a lot of time writing the speech. That’s that practice thing coming into play. He could have just written a first draft and said it was good enough. But he knew it wasn’t. It takes time to perfect a thing. Just like karate training. You do it. You redo it and you learn from what you did.

I think parents who put their children in the martial arts are giving them an incredible gift. It makes for a stronger child. A more confident student. It instills discipline and makes them leaders. How do I know this? All five of my children trained. I see the adults the other four have become. And I see the seeds blossoming in the fifth.

Give your child the gift that will help them the rest of their lives. Give them martial arts training. Its the nicest thing you can do for them.

You Never Quit Learning

Far too often karate students think achieving black belt means they’ve reached the pinnacle of their craft and there’s nothing left to learn. That couldn’t be further from the truth. I’ve had my belt for quite a few years now – I can’t believe how many actually – and I’m still learning.

Sometimes lessons come when I’m in a class and sometimes they come when I’m teaching. Last night was one of those teaching moments. I can remember my instructor explaining to me, when I was in the last months before my Shodan test, that I’d stretched him to a new level as he’d had to reevaluate something he was teaching. I wasn’t getting it and he couldn’t teach it the same ole way.

He actually thanked me for being a ‘difficult’ student. It makes me laugh now because I totally understand now what he meant. Last night I found a way to explain something simply and the student got it. It took their karate from okay to really good. The student got it. Seeing the problem was the first part of the battle but understanding how to explain and get the change I wanted wasn’t as simple.

It stretched me as an instructor and gave me a greater, deeper understanding of the technique. You never quit learning, no matter what rank you are. Last night proved it. Thanks to my student for helping me gain a greater insight. Nothing beats teaching the martial arts.